View from My La-Z-Boy
It was a nice ten minutes. My new phone has a pretty decent camera. Using it doesn’t feel like photography, but it makes pretty squares.
Dark Pickleball
Hot off the presses, and squarely in the middle of the greatest controversy of our times, I present the terrifying visage of a neighbor taking action against the sickening plague of pickleball. This new beloved Baby Boomer past time infects every corner of America and the infection grows into subsequent generations. Those living near the […]
Ashy Experts are We
the heat’s a record yet again this poet’s un-refrain fan’s a-whirring on day ten burn the fuel make it cool burn to cool then cool the burn it sounds like us fixing jangling clanking with new jangling clanking using motors to make it to tomorrow piling horror onto horror ashy experts are we
The Shameless Dingi
consciously suspending my outrage and all the while a surge of dolts and dinguses (the shameless dingi) fuel a conflagration a confederation of confoundingly cacophonous c words they plug the stream of hope with me me me and sadly my versions of what me could be find no warmth from their fire
Smile Don’t Smile
smile don’t smile don’t don’t emote exposure times are long hard times hard faces there are consequences in light of the price tight is right save your laughter hold your joy for the day after forever blurry this will be your legacy proof of your transcendancy one day they’ll gaze with wonder
Creeping Inch by Inch
creeping inch by inch ‘gainst mirrored pleasure pounds creep they sneak the fight begins so soon it ends resolve to move quickly eschewed leather belt a-cinch I graze I graze I graze deliciously I die maliciously I try myself for crimes of caloric saturation and sugar salt and fat infatuation
The 280 Challenge
I started writing goofy poems on Twitter and wanted them all to be exactly 280 characters since that is the maximum number of characters allowed on that platform. It used to be 140 and it was a way better community back then. Don’t get me started! Lately, due to an ownership change at Twitter, like […]
One Way Trip
I have a headache… in the before time it would annoy brought on by my insipid decision-making in the now time it’s a hemorrhage or a tumor or the last ember fizzling in the incineration of my invincibility of my unearned wisdom of sanity I dread this pillow for tonight might be a one-way trip
Paladin’s Curfew
In this epidsode, a knight in shining armor prepares for the great beyond. He’s not the bundle of joy and power we’re accustomed to seeing, but rather he almost relishes his declining and fatalistic vision. All warriors must face an end and sometimes they outlive their usefulness. Paladin’s Curfew Icy darkness fills my mind. My […]
It Slips Quietly Away This Holiday
it slips quietly away this holiday into frozen midnight the chaos and relentlessness now forgotten harmony and calories lingering fancy plans and gratitude lie unrepentant on my weary soul my privilege leans against my shoulders the unfortunate ones have none yet I sleep peacefully and dream
Y’all Know How
y’all know how when ya takes yer filly to the pitchur show and thems goshdern Hollywood fancy pants fakin’ out our accent ‘n’ makin’ us look all dumb? S’pose if we din’t have damn fools down ramblin’ on like we do sumtimes h’yar in ole Virginny we’d stop givin’ evidence ’bout ’em bein’ right
Dizzy Words
dizzy words from intoxicating thumbs building such prideful edifices here lies your legacy to civilization syllables like heck ’twas muscle held Thermopylae ’twas toil built the Appian Way ’twas skill erected the Pantheon and your sexy squash atop your neck drools such monolithic succotash
My Imagination is Wrong
my imagination is wrong when I struggle when I fear when I fight instead I should dream of art and beauty of walks alone at midnight of songs and snuggles yet I’ll never arrive endlessly regretting where I’ve been all Eris no Athena ole Hephaestus and I building chaos and knowledge a mansion
We Lift Up the Sky
we lift up the sky the bright one and the dark one bemoaning enduring loving thriving despite improbable odds and angry horns beep all you like and queues and damnable cues and alarming fatigue sadness and pain we find strength to keep the sky aloft and to grumble at those hoisting it wrong
My Dog is Hot
my dog is hot but she is not a hotdog the relish and mustard she’d lick it off a bus stop she’s black there’s sun outside is not so fun she plods where once she pranced I curse the gods and wear short pants she in fur with afro curls forges forward forever optimistic dillydallying […]
The Air Conditioning is Out
the air conditioning is out and i am the one they call angry frustrated HOT jokes don’t amuse assurances don’t assure parts will arrive next Thursday that won’t do they’re toasty you see without A/C but imagine a world without A/C ya know like God made it like how we lived for thousands of years
Urgent
urgent you sick sad festering boil you cankerous clicking clock once again you’ve beaten important pause for effect I’ll wait now too late arrives and smiles forging onward my alibi intact dear friendly failure sits with me awhile we talk as friends despite our uneven relationship he loves me
Everything Plaguing My Heart
everything plaguing my heart is complete no worry no pining no sucking my soul me my sunshine my freedom my peace feels fishy suspicious and doubtful I’ve forgotten I’ve misplaced I’m prone to overlookin’ it’s inches past my vision or over my shoulder or not I fret and I fret for not fretting
This Hour Will Pass
this hour will pass this day will fly nothing will ever be the same this week will elapse and if I don’t die another year will damage and maim I knew what’s false I knew what’s true but I know nothing except how time murders optimism so I must fight and fight to keep hoping […]
The King’s Undone
the king’s undone unnerved unraveled not in deeds he’s still the king not in words written on his behalf but in the fires of his own distorted cauldron flickering fading his eyes dim his wit fails alone he rambles while his old cadre hails the man ceasing to be as he comes undone
So We Begin with Snow and Ice
so we begin with snow and ice insulting bright mornings unreasonable weather and woe bring me pandemic cookies I’m warning I’ll be fatter and unworthy of nookie searching for rhymes and meaningless matter pandering to paradigms filling with gloom wearing socks in the room so nice
It’s 280 Characters on Any Idea
it’s 280 on ANY idea still the white space mocks digging deep for words of lyrical eternity still the white space mocks images from the day? quizzical musings? stealthy assonance? quippish rhymes? optimism? despair masquerading as optimism? still the white space mocks or does it?
Like an Antique Sewing Machine
like an antique sewing machine chugging spindles and whirligigs stitching temporary solutions to timeless nudity I feel the machinations in my skull rusted decaying filthy gears and bobbins spinning sad point d’Alençon to swaddle lost hope and new disappointment in ratted tatting
Pretty Poor Thing in Califor-nye-yay
pretty poor thing in Califor-nye-yay boiled and embroiled under très bad days cried and courting the camera clear ’til dawn troubles matter and endless natter became embalmed by a rake without qualm Cadillacs aplenty morals so empty too too fond broken heart and marketing spawned
I Struggle
I struggle under the weight of volunteering carrying the burdens of expectations some real some imagined some with lawyers lurking how did I get here so far from reasonability and balance I persist through the nausea ignoring the escape hatch and I volunteer on stalwart to my end
A Wasp Flew In
a wasp flew in I with plastic cup and postcard captured the venomous beast to free him from his deathly fate at my windows he knew nothing of my heroism tonight you and your murder dressed like that in days like these flounced by a titter knowing as much of my existence as a wasp
Sitting in this Chair
sitting in this chair I can shoot like LeBron I can out cook Flay I can draw like Addams better than Addams my jokes quiet Gaffigan my ideas fix Einstein my music revives Elvis my gawd I can dance and oh my politics well they change nothing so I sit in this chair it’s awful […]
My “Real” Composing Website
Have you been to Pencilopolis yet? Don’t go. All of my personal musical endeavors end up there, and it’s noisy, and maybe not so good, and you could be listening to the songs you listened to when you were in college, and that would be better for you, probably.
Wood Wood Wood
wood wood wood and weirdo chai the downstairs coffee shop after taxes and tips it’s dollars six cash? haha you codger gray today I’m afraid I’m frayed and splayed among laptops and lattes awash in a youngish lady array so maybe I’ll stay under fancy lights at a table made of wood
Dear Beloved Friday
Dear Beloved Friday I reach you wounded and saddened and fearful naively hoping the promise you once brought will return yet I know Saturday Sunday will vanish in a fatigued fog as the gateway you once guarded now lying in rubble leads only to panic as time races on and on and on
Sitting at the County Courthouse
sitting at the county courthouse masked up with my coffee waiting for a ride they didn’t need my service joyous joyous a free day off adjudication was the vision now it is vacation maybe making mischief wonky wowzer wild maybe get arrested win a free ride to the county courthouse
Ash Rains Down
ash rains down the tears of dying pines once standing sentry against eternity silent and permanent the fire now devours lives led in silence seasons after seasons the growing and living ends today as plumes of smoke leave nothing for something at the location where forever waited
Dah Oddest Hypo
In this epidsode, we’re faced with the challenging dilemma of a hypodermic needle from Boston offering the mixed blessing of a fanciful trip to Cairo where we’ll meet Edgar Allen Poe combined with the rather obvious problem of psychological ruin and despair. Dah Oddest Hypo There in Boston, it’s no typo, pretty crooked needle hypo. […]
Eve’s Lautrec
In this epidsode, Eve’s reviewing her life. She’s sitting in her room looking at a painting of her done by Toulouse Lautrec in Hell. He’s still painting with too much green. Eve’s Lautrec She is sitting in her cell alone. She is nude. She is gazing at her portrait in her one room cell. He […]
Take Yer Stoopid Chicken
My first list of uniclues featured this little gem. Took almost a year to realize these could be funny études for guitar and so I’m adding some as I have a chance. This song features the murder of a chicken and the rude thought it had a name and a terrible life. Take Yer Stoopid […]
Jugert Crossword #1
Printable Puzzle .png: Click HERE Across Light .puz: Click HERE Solution? Click HERE
What’s a Uniclue?
I started writing these things on June 13, 2022. I read all the way across (or down) on a crossword puzzle and sometimes funny phrases jump out. After finding a phrase I like, I write a clue to describe the phrase. Usually I’m working toward humor, sometimes toward precision, and sometimes to the opposite of […]
Next Tiara on Me
Next Tiara on Me They required no rest, but they’d been hunting all day, and the maintenance schedule dictated down time to complete uploads and run general diagnostics. They’d sussed out a small group of humans lurking in the rocky caves outside Idaho Springs, Colorado. Recon knew they’d been malingering in the area for years, […]
Composing from Crosswords
My Compositions I have another website where I post music I’ve written on other subjects that might be a bit more substantial. You can find those at Pencilopolis. Uniclues for Guitar On this site, I post silly jingles I write on guitar based on goofy phrases I find in the New York Times crossword puzzles. […]
June 13, 2022 NYTXW
Uniclues: 1 Modern artist paints with corporate doodoo. 2 Headline describing Caesarion’s mom in a bikini. 3 Rotten omelets remove a gall bladder. 4 Pool FedExed used water. 5 Vegetarian feline’s nut stash. 6 Crumple photo of singer Ross. 7 RWNJ view of reality. 8 No. 1 mystic. 9 Take your stupid chicken. 10 Drug […]
My Friend
First photo out of the Fujifilm X100V was my buddy at sunset. Things I like: Quiet camera. Nice color without any processing. Depth of field worked pretty well here. Things I’m not sure about: The ceiling light is a bit overheated and the hands on the left side of the photo are distracting. I wish […]
Second Photo from New Camera
My FujiFilm X100V takes its first steps
The second image from my new camera the Fujifilm X100V. The two apartment buildings are near the Denver Country Club golf course and were built about three years ago. The Denver Tech Center is in the distance on the horizon to the left. The color here is nearly impossible without post processing like everyone seems […]
This Movie
how many times will I watch this movie oh my god oh my god bad writing bad acting bad editing every utterance every tic brutal ages ago the premier ignited the screen but I layered on derision a witness to a dream dashing tragedy yet here I mope again crushed soul and ads aplenty
Tail Light Party
laughter chatter hoots and hollers yummy joyous sounds I like Gladys Kravitz stew in acrimonious judgment from my lofty aerie plotting your demise and waiting for the day when your piggish horror will leave our neighborhood and I will meet your taillights with howls of execration
The Dentist
the dentist on the best of days I’d bury him in a darkened cave with bats and bugs and crawlie things and yet today I pay again for pain and pain and more damn pain for my organic face to become a bionic place yet how I’d love a crown of gold but it’ll be […]
Dora Moore in Black and White
Messing with my old Leica V-Lux 20 on the way to the grocery store. I’ve always been unimpressed with it as a camera but this week I thought I’d try it in black and white mode and limit it to 1920×1080. I should go back to doing photography this way. I’m not big on color […]
Complicated
This section is at the bottom of each post under "Post Entrance."
I’ve downloaded the most unnecessarily complicated template to run this website and will be in the process of filling it up with real content over the next forever.